I'm Okay
by xRainbowNinjax
Summary: Gwen has this dream that doesn't seem to go away. She doesn't know what happens in said dream, but she knows the emotion she feels from it. Fear. No one knows about it, not even her best friend, Duncan. She doesn't want to tell anyone, but she's afraid it might take over her life. She know's she has to tell someone, but she won't. But, that's okay. She's Okay. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Pool of Tears: Lame title and improved plotline (Hopefully). I'm happy that I fixed something horrible. And I'm changing the horrid title I made three or so years ago. ( I don't even remember.) This is a T rated story.**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

It's happening again. The dream I have had every night for as long as I can even remember. The weird thing is, I can never remember any clear details from the dream when I wake up. It's like it vanished from my memory, just waiting for the next time I slept. Sometimes I'll wake up screaming, blanking the reason. The screams are mostly all I remember, for I black out. I don't know if they are a sign for anything, but whether its good or bad, it's not like my life is a charm. I have secrets, many if I may. I'm good at hiding my emotions. No one can tell the true feelings by just looking at me. But that's okay. **I'm okay. **and being okay, is the best I can be.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

I open my eyes, adjusting to the light of the sun, flashing through my window. The highlight of my day so far, I don't recall screaming. I let my eyes close. You see, I get these dreams that I can never remember. All I know is that, they're really freaking scary. But what is scary? I love horror movies, so It's not like I can't stand horror, or anything like that, but the only emotion I feel from the dream, is fear. Maybe the fear is from not remembering, I don't know. I open my eyes, and decide to get out of my comfy bed, and get ready for another dreadful day. Checking the time, I see it's 6:30, meaning my parents left for work already. I soak up these 30 minutes of alone time, like a sponge does with water, knowing the outcome of what will most likely happen when I get home. Bringing my thoughts away from that and towards something new, I pick out my outfit for the day. I guess these black skinny jeans with a blue tint to it, and a navy blue long sleeved with a grey unbutton vest would work. My closet mainly consists of dark colors and long sleeves. I don't particularly like being the center of attention. I would much rather be cuddled up in a corner with a good book. Which I think is partially the reason for my liking of dark colors. Or hanging out with my best friend, Duncan. We have been connected by hip ever since I came to this horrid town when I was in kindergarten. Heather, also known as the bitch, poured her juice box all over me. Of course, I was only about 5, so I was upset. Everyone started to laugh at me, except Duncan. He defended me, threatening Heather. I can't exactly remember what he said, but all I know is, it brought us to where we were today. Best friends. After I get dressed, I brushed out my hair, straightening I started to hear repetitive knocking on the front door, along with a deep voice yelling out towards me. At first, I start to freak. But as soon as start to recognize he voice, instantly I know, it's Duncan. He comes over every morning to pick me up, for school that is. I don't know why I freaked out, I guess I'm still a little woozy from the reoccurring dream.

"Hey pasty, you ready yet?" Duncan asks me from outside of my door.

"Yeah. Let me grab my bag and I'll be out." I say doing as I said. I open my door and see Duncan, I nod at him, saying a quick hi. He smiles back, and we go down the stairs. Once we're outside, we jump on his bike, and he drives off to this place I call hell. I wrap my arms around him as we start going down the highway.

We finally make it to school, and right away the bitch is already on my case.  
"Hey lovebirds, glad you could make it." Heather says, walking over to Dunc's bike.  
"What do you want Heather?" I say, getting straight to the point.  
"Oh wanted to let you know, you too aren't invited to my party! So long!" She waves with a cheesy smile, and leaves. I slowly get off of the motorcycle.  
"Well, that was strange. I wouldn't even want to go to a Heather party anyways."  
"I don't know, I feel like crashing something. Something that rhymes with smarty." Duncan says with a smirk.  
"Which you aren't. I say as a playfully punch his shoulder.  
"Ouch Gwenny, that hurts." Duncan says."

"Lets just go to class, kay?" I roll my eyes whilst saying. I'm already done with school, might as well get it over with.

"Alright. Ma'am!" Duncan says again with that special smirk of his.  
I giggle as I mock back,

"Alright, Sir!"

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**A/N: Hi. I'm back. :) So, I decided to rewrite my Pool of Tears (now named I'm Okay because I'm the most creative person ever) story, and this happened. I like it a lot better then the other one. It's going to have a new plot, and a lot of the story is changing. I don't even remember what happened... But I will incorporate pieces of that story in this. Kinda... I hope you like this one better, and once I come up with the plot... well develop it more this story will be better. I PROMISE- I won't abandon this. Even if I don't update that often. My goal is too always write 1k words a chapter. This one may be shorter though..And if you're still reading, I love you :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama. Nor do I own Final Fantasy. Now if you find anything else familiar, let me know.**

* * *

It's nearing last hour and I'm ready hell hole like, now. At least Duncan is in my last class, which also happens to be my least favorite class. History. As I walk to class, I meet up with Duncan, like I do everyday.

"Hey sweetheart." Duncan says as we walk to class. "Blood Bath 3 is coming out today, we should go see it.".

We walk through the door, as I answer back.

"I don't know Juvie.. my parents probably won't let me." We reach the desks, so I take a seat in the one in the back.

"C'mon Gwen, aren't your parents at work?" I nod. "And don't they work till like.. midnight or something?" He sits besides me.

"Only on lucky days." I reply, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well maybe today will be a lucky day. Please Pasty?" He says, using one of his many nicknames for me. I look away as soon as I see that pout come out.

"Ugh Duncan, not the face!" I complain.

"Oh, the face Gwenny!" I try to keep looking away, but it's too tempting. As soon as I turn my face toward his, the bell rings. He doesn't even flinch.

"Ugh, I hate you" I whisper. "Fine, we can go to the movies!" I pout myself whilst crossing my pasty arms. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that famous smirk of is.

* * *

"Hey pasty, wanna come over to my house before the movie?" Duncan questions as we walk towards his_ car_.

"I guess me going to your house won't hurt, sure." I noticed Duncan stopped walking. As I look up at him, I see him winking at a direction past me. I turn to look at who, and I come across Heathers gang. Heather, Alejandro, Courtney, Bridgette and Geoff. Confused, I ask him,

"What are you doing?" Duncan seems to jump a little, this moving towards the bike.

"I was watching the dweeb make a fool of himself, lets go." He says, rushed.

"Okay.."I get on the bike, and it starts to be a quiet ride. Well that was strange... He never lies to me. I mean, not that I know of.. I would say we never lie to each other, but then I would be lying. You see, I haven't told him about my dreams. Or, if I can even call them dreams. I know him more then he knows himself. He would either: feel hurt that I haven't told him, be beating himself up for not being able to stop it, or both. Which knowing him, it would be both. Before I know it, we're in front Duncan's house. Duncan's parents are both cops, so it's ironic how their son turned out to be a criminal. I would never tell Duncan this, but his mom is cool. On the first day of school his mom was one of the parents that volunteered to watch all the kindergartners at recess. After the juice box incident, and after Duncan defended me, she took me in side, Duncan following behind and washed as much of the juice box stain off. Then for the remainder of recess, whilst the other parents watched the kids, she stayed inside with me and Duncan.

"Pasty, you there?" Duncan says, waving a hand in front my face as I stay seated on the motor cycle.

"What? Oh now I'm doing it." I get off the bike and head towards the house.

"Doing what? He asks following me.

"Earlier you were spacing out before we left, remember? Or was it **SOOO** long ago you forgot?" I replied back, teasing him.

"Oh yeah, I forgot something that happened 10 minutes ago."

"You're very forgetful." I laugh, entering the door.

"So, what time does the movie start?" I ask as we sit on the couch. Duncan then nonchalantly takes out his phone, probably looking for the time.

"Around an hour or so." He shrugs, setting his phone on the couch.

"So what do you want to do now? Homework? I suggest.

"Homework? Who does homework!" Duncan starts cracking up."Gwenny, it's a Friday. We can do that this weekend

or something, lets play Final Fantasy X!" He says, already walking over to his Playstation 2.

"Isn't that a one player?" I ask.

"Yup! I can play whilst you watch. Plus I'm a whole lot better at it then you!" He teases.

"Yeah, sure Duncan." I say, smiling.

* * *

"HA! Beat that Yunalesca!" I say as I beat her final form. I look over to see my best friend sulking.

"You can't handle the fact that I'm better than you." Duncan tried beating her for about an hour now, and he would always get killed on her final form. I finally tore the controller from his grasp after he threatened he was going to smash the television in.

I beat her first try.

"Beginners luck." Duncan mutters. I decide we played enough and turned the game off. I look over at the clock and notice the time.

"Shoot! Duncan, what time does the movie start again?"

"Six" he says with his arms crossed.

"Duncan! Do you look at clocks? It's 5:50!" He widened his eyes, jumped off the couch and was out the door.

"Come on Pasty!" I faintly hear. I pick up his phone and jacket and was out the door.

* * *

It's around 6:10 when we get there, meaning were already ten minutes late. Duncan and I rush through the doors, toward the ticket booth.

"Do you have anymore tickets for Blood Bath 3?" Duncan quickly asks.

"Oh! I'm sorry but the 6 o'clock show is sold out. But we have another show playing tomorrow, same time." The lady says, looking a little frantic from Duncan's sudden outburst.

"That's okay, ma'am, sorry to bother you." I say, being polite. I pull Duncan along with me as I exit the theater.

"So what now?" I question. I notice a small smirk forming on his face.

"Well, we could always crash a party.."

"Duncan, no-" I get cut off from Juvie.

"Aw c'mon Gwenny! Please! Don't make me do the pout.."

"You are not doing the pout" I say looking away.

"I'm doing the pout!" He starts to pout. "It's all for you sweetheart!"

"If I say we can go will you stop?" I ask.

"Yes.." He says, sounding like a little baby.

"Then fine..." All I hear is a loud and obnoxious **YAY** coming from Duncan.

"Yay.." I say, quietly.

* * *

Arriving to the party, I can already smell the alcohol. I hate alcohol, because my dad drink all the time.

"Come on pasty lets go!" Duncan says, pulling me.

"Why are you so damn excited.."I mutter, more to myself. "And how do you know where Heathers house is?" I say to Duncan.

"I know my ways" he says. As soon as we're inside, I already hear various whispers. Duncan holds on to my arm as we walk toward the center.

"What are you doing here?" Heather yells at us.

"We felt like going to a party, is that such a crime?" Duncan says.

"Yes it is! I even told you NOT to come to this party."

"You know you wanted us here." Duncan replies back. I look at Heather, noticing a smile form on her face.

"I know some things." Heather looks at me "Some things Gwen wouldn't want anyone to know." My eyes widen, even though she might be bluffing, she's Heather, and I don't trust her. I pull on Duncan's arm.

"Let's go Duncan." I say. He nods, as if saying yes.

"Yeah, get going Gothy!" Heathers best friend Courtney, says. "No one wants **YOU** here." Notice how she just says me? Duncan gives Heather death glares as he walks out.

"Oh you, protecting your girlfriend huh?" I hear Heather call out, followed shortly by a little whimper. I ignore it as we walk towards the bike.

"Sorry I dragged you out here" Duncan says, once were outside.

"It's okay." I say,

"It's been a bad day, if you think about it. Nothing has been going right." He says.

"It's normal. You gotta have a bad day every once in awhile, right?" I point out.

"Right."

* * *

We stop a block away from my house, I tell him I want to walk the rest of the way home. I get off of the bike and turn towards Duncan.

"Goodnight, Duncan." I say, leaning towards him for a hug.

"Night Gwen." He says, hugging me back.

I let go of Duncan, sending a wave his way, and walk towards my house. It takes about five minute, but I notice my dads truck parked outside. My moms still at work, then. I pause for a moment outside my front door. I can hear the Television blaring from outside. Slowly, I open the door, silently hoping he is asleep. Once I open it enough to get a clear view of him, I see him knocked out. I let out a sigh of relief. I close the door, but somehow that was louder than me opening it.

"Where have you been? I'm fucking hungry!" Shit. I woke him up. I turn around and notice beer bottles on the floor, meaning he is probably drunk. He gets up from his spot on the couch.

"I said, where the hell have you been?" He says with more force.

"I-I was with Duncan." I said, stuttering a bit.

"Oh, the little boyfriend of yours!?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" I let out, without even thinking of it.

"Don't back talk me, bitch!" He suddenly lunged forward, grabbing a handful of my hair. He dragged me from my spot at the door, and slammed me against the wall. I scram in pain.

"Stop!" I yell out. My left arm along with my face is throbbing.

"Did I fucking tell you to speak?!" He then kicked my stomach, more times than once. I whimper in pain, with tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry!" I let out. My eyes are squeezed shut. He stops kicking me. At some point he sat back down on the couch.

"Make me food." He says, drinking more beer. "Now!"

I get up from my spot from the floor. Everything hurts.

I enter the kitchen, and start making hot dogs. My mom doesn't know about this. That he does this to me. He always does it when she's not home. I haven't told Duncan, either. But I'm pretty sure he has an idea that somethings not right.

"Is my food done yet?" He yells. The microwave beeps, signaling that the hotdogs are done.

"Just about!" I squeak. I quickly put the hot dogs on a bun, whilst adding the condiments. I then grab the TV tray, placing everything, including chips on it. I walk out and set the tray in front of him. He immediately starts stuffing his face with food. Not saying thank you, or anything. I walk upstairs and enter my room. I lock the door behind me. I decide against checking my wounds. I'm too tired I care. I lay in bed, letting my horrid dream take me away.

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**A/N : Hi. Sorry if there's any mistakes, I don't feel like going through it again. xD But look, I updated! It may not be the best, but its better than my previous stories. If you notice there's a lot of 'whilst', i'm sorry, I use that word for everything.****Oh and I'm sick, so be happy I decided to convert the chapter I wrote on paper, to my laptop. Anyways, thanks for reading!**


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